Beauty Beat 7.12.13: Gwyneth, Botox, Bitchy, Burn. And Channing Tatum.
Beauty bits I thought were worth a click this week:
1. Its easy to poke fun at Gwyneth Paltrow, the smug girl we love to hate with her rants on smoking, sunshine and now recently her anti-botox stance. But I think she has an intelligent view on why Botox isn’t for her.
Whether you’re a GP fan or not, I appreciate that her POV comes from personal experience and not from a judgmental (or fraudulent) celebrity soap box. So there.
2. Botox or not, could this pillow be the answer to fewer wrinkles? Meh…probably not. If there’s one thing women with wrinkles love more than smooth skin or sex, it’s um..sleep.
3. Do you suffer from Bitchy Resting Face? Kanye, Kourtney, Charlize, Kristen and Rooney all have it and I’m pretty sure I do too. A clue is when people continually tell you how much better you look when you smile, which is what I get all the time. Meaning people seem relieved when I smile.
4. But hey, if you have a Bitchy Resting Face (BFR) and want to dial it up to 11, mirrored sunglasses (which according to the NY Times are having a resurgence) are the way to go. Nothing says “stay back” faster than the promise of seeing two distorted images of yourself in someone’s glasses coupled with the austere “I’m gonna give you a ticket” state trooper vibe. Johnny Depp and Gisele can pull this off, but I just wind looking like The Terminator. Or rather, his mother.
5. If those mirrored sunglasses aren’t enough to compliment your BRF, how about some bedazzled big ass headphones, because these are a thing. A thing I don’t get. Growing up with boom boxes, I thought as a society were moving to smaller, more discreet sound devices, so this trend has caught me off guard.
Sure, I get the giant Princess Lea headphones if you’re a DJ (making a playlist or mix tape does not count people), a huge audiophile or work in an open office space where you need noise cancellation. But as a woman, I just don’t have room for stuff in my bag that requires it’s own carrying case. I don’t care how sparkly and pink it is. And frankly, I think it looks slightly douchy with attire. Just sayin. FYI.
6. What really gives me a BRF though, is learning that this is what a plus size supermodel looks like according to a model scout from One Management.
Hey I get that clothes simply hang better on women who are tall and wispy, From a fashion and architectural standpoint I’m totally on board. But when I hear the words plus size, my mind jumps to the likes of the Melissa McCarthy – a woman as abundant in talent as she is curves.
But not a woman who looks this good in her underwear and probably has a BMI on the low side of normal. Stick a fork in my eye, I’m getting a Pret A Manger Chicken Mozzarella baguette for lunch (half size though). Screw Just Salad.
7. So it’s no wonder our society is vulnerable to Beauty Overload, a theory that suggests too much binging on media hyped versions of unattainable beauty can ruin the intimacy we have with people in real life. The sting in this study is that this effect has more impact on men then on women. It breaks down like this: once men see a bunch of super hot Victoria Secret’s models, they see their more mortal looking companions as less desirable. Women less so.
I personally have more hope for humanity than the study suggests, but believe there’s a kernel of truth about the context it creates, however false.
Still, if men want to measure us by Kate Upton standards, then fine. I present….Channing Tatum. Who is now officially an action verb. So there.